Vroom. Ping. Ahh. Tick tock. Wallop. Oof. Awooga. Awooga. Awooga. What am I on about? Nee idea. Just like I have nee idea how last night happened.
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Can you believe it??? A glorious day made up of stuff that nobody in their right mind would expect to happen. We scored four. John O'Shea scored. Perhaps more miraculously - Ashley Fletcher scored a cracker. What's ganin on?! We haven't got a clue, but time for you to rate the players anyway!
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Yet another suspension and an untimely injury for Joel Asoro means we're guaranteed to see at least two changes from the side that surrendered so typically to Preston.
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It was 30 years of hurt when Baddiel and Skinner first got us believing football was coming home. Today, that number stands at 52 years since England won the World Cup on home soil.
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Quite fitting that on the metaphorically coldest day at the Stadium of Light in it's history, I freeze alongside all the other maniacs who think it's a good idea to waste one of the few days off we get in this working world watching this bunch of w**kers.
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Chris Coleman will be forced into a minimum of three changes for the visit of Preston.
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